Oh… well, thank you tumblr for making me realise I might actually have a slight anxiety issue… because this totally explains me.
I’m so glad I’m not this bad about it anymore. Balls.
Describes me haha fml
this is so accurate its scary…
I think my Fe is not working well at the moment, in that I seem to have a very, very low emotion tolerance threshold. I’ve been isolating myself from the slightest emotional influences from others and they destabilise me fairly quickly.
This includes remaining for almost all the time at home in my room. I haven’t been downstairs to eat supper much recently; had it in my room. Last few weeks I haven’t gone down to watch Doctor Who with anyone either; watched it on my laptop. Those short inputs of emotion from the conversations with my teachers on Friday had me crying for a short while afterwards whilst I thought it over, and calming down; I didn’t actually do anything over that three hours. Then my mother argued with me about my irritable attitude lately and that my sister wouldn’t stop playing the piano (not that I’d asked her to) made me get really upset all of a sudden. Just that slight input of emotion from music, let alone actual people. My dad tried to talk to me about why I was being irritable earlier when we were driving home in the car. He gets easily frustrated, but, even if he hadn’t, that journey wore me out emotionally and intellectually.
I think this is another reason why I don’t like music playing in the house that I haven’t put on. I’m very sensitive to increases in the level of emotion around me and I’m not very tolerant about it. I try to keep where I live a safe, emotion-neutral zone, but it doesn’t always happen.
Also convinced I’ve let some of my teachers down recently and that makes me very sad. I think I pulled out of that exam because I didn’t want to be in that exam situation with lots of people and stress; not really for the rational reasons I put forward. All those people… It was so overwhelming on Monday and I know a lot of people do English.
She’s still playing. Why is she still playing??
I’m just going to play Lateralus, I think.
I have a similar reaction to music, I think. I used to tell friends I’m just really into atmosphere and the music has to match my mood. I use the music and atmosphere to kind of rationalize and put how I’m feeling in some kind of context. It helps me get a ‘grasp’ on how I’m feeling, if that makes sense.
I had one instance where a friend of mine wouldn’t stop playing dubstep even though I said I was tired of it and it wasn’t doing anything for me emotionally and he was annoyed and didn’t turn it off and I just got progressively angrier. Like you showed me this thing and it did nothing for me and it’s still happening…why. I’ve always had this really strong picky thing about music.
Hope your irritability passes soon.
The bottom line of what I’m trying to say is that you already know how to succeed in school. I know that, because you point out all the ways that your natural state doesn’t jive well with what is demanded in school. A common thread among your statements is that you would have expected those school demands to be deeper and more complex and more meaningful. But they aren’t.
Humans only have so much gas in the tank to do anything. Once it’s gone, they need to get more, or else their performance will be terrible. People get fuel in different ways: sleep, meditation, socializing, hiking, tribal dancing, whatever. You aren’t getting enough fuel to step down your performance to do what’s demanded in school (tasks or chores versus something you love). You are trying to tie your skills directly with school demands, because of a sense that they *should* be consistent. They both seem academic-based, after all. But you’ve already proved that they aren’t tied directly. So, you need enough fuel from your other loves to treat school as another task just to get through. I don’t see any reason why you can’t be a top student with that approach. You are already deconstructing what is required to get high grades. You just need enough fuel to execute. A tougher problem would be if you just can’t figure out what is demanded. But you are INTP. Even then, you could march right up to the professor, ask, and fit the construct of their explanations into your permanent encyclopiedia.
- Jason Evans
I really need to collect all the good advice people give me in one place at some point. Maybe I’ll make an advice tag on here.
Fixing up how to do boring things…. I don’t understand it and I don’t understand how it can realistically be executed. Maybe I have too much Si going on. Maybe it’s the environment. Maybe (and most likely) it’s not having enough frequent, strong, in-person social relationships in my life. Maybe it’s none of those things. Either way, I tend to treat myself and my situation as things that happen and are observed, rather than things that can be changed by me, because I’ve already observed the [false truth but nonetheless ingrained] rule that things don’t change.
Only-begotten, Pluto’s honor’d wife,
O venerable Goddess, source of life:
‘Tis thine in earth’s profundities to dwell,
Fast by the wide and dismal gates of hell:
Jove’s holy offspring, of a beauteous mien,
Fatal, with lovely locks, infernal queen